Ugh!

The 3's ! What in the world! There are days where John and Megan are the most amazing little people I have ever had the privilege of knowing and then there are days where I wonder if they have a bit of the devil inside of them.
Today was a bit of a devilish day. Thank goodness I have great friends that are able to support mommy when she needs a time out.

Hi again....it has been a while.

It has been a long time since I have actually posted anything that had some substance to it...so here we go...

John and Megan are doing great.
At their three year check-up they weighed in at 29 and 24 pounds respectively.
Megan has finally made it to the growth charts and is in the 1st percentile for weight! Yeah!!!!!
Let's be honest, she is still miniature. She is pretty darn cute though!
John is in the 14th percentile and is about 3 inches taller than Megan. He is my handsome little man.

Since the last post, they have been moved into their own bedrooms, are in big kid beds, we don't have any pacifiers or diapers/pull-ups in the house, and they are getting smarter by the day!
Both kids have begun learning how to ice skate as well as play soccer. They are starting to really get into both sports.

The summer flew by. The kids and I spent a few weekends in Indiana with Angie and crew, we also went to Tennessee and Georgia for a 10 day road trip. Grandpa Tad went with us...we all survived the 14 hour drive home...it was touch and go for a while, but we made it. The kids and I had a great time visiting with Tammy, Nick, Sara, Roger, and kids. I had an amazing summer! I spent a ton of time with my kids, got the opportunity to really enjoy myself again, really found out who my true friends were, and learned that I am not just a mommy!

Over Labor Day weekend, I (kids were with Tim) took a trip to Florida. My friend and I stayed with Aunt Karen and had an AMAZING time! It was my first adult vacation just for me...I am pretty sure that it will be happening again soon.

School has been in session about three weeks now. I lasted two days into the school year before the plague hit and I was knocked on my butt with bronchial pneumonia. It took about 4 days of nothing but sleep and fluids for me to get out of bed. I am feeling much better, but the cough is horrendous and lingering. At one point I was pretty sure my class was going to get to dissect my lung. The kids are also back at school at Real Life Nursery School and Farm and are loving it as much as last year!

As of the first of September, I am no longer the chairperson for the Family Advisory Board. I have passed the baton onto someone who is very capable, but I am still going to miss being the chair. I, of course will continue being part of the board, attending meetings and participating in activities and volunteering. November 4th will be our 7th annual fashion show. John and Megan will be in the fashion show this year, but I will be on the sidelines. Tim and I will be there supporting our kids and the NICU that helped to save their lives.

Tim and I are working together to make sure that John and Megan have everything that they need in order to be well rounded, happy, and healthy kids. We are doing our best and it seems to be working out well. :)

I am still dealing with mom's death. Some days are fine and some pretty much suck. Megan and John talk about Grammy Robbye Lou all the time and tell me that she is in heaven...taking care of the dead baby bird that we found in our back yard. Nothing sweeter than that!

I received a letter from my former school district today. They were calling me back from lay off and offering me a 5th grade position. I am so happy that I can say I didn't even hesitate or think twice about the decision I made...to stay with the school I am working with now. I don't know if I have ever had a job that is more challenging or more rewarding.

Missing so many of you more than you can imagine.

3rd Birthday Party May 2011 at OneTrueMedia.com

John and Megan had an amazing 3rd birthday! So many of our friends and family were able to come and be part of the celebration.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

NICU Reunion 2011 - 3 years old! at OneTrueMedia.com

Some cute pictures of the kiddos from the NICU reunion. My friend Greta is a photographer and she is amazing!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Terrible 2's...more like terrible 3's!

My neighbors kept telling me that the three's were going to be rough. I didn't believe them. John and Megan were great at 2...why would I expect anything less at 3.
Well, sadly they were right. These two are insane! It takes at least an hour to get settled for a nap, bedtime isn't so great either! Before I would lay them in their beds, give them some hugs and kisses, and leave the room. The angels would be asleep moments later. Now it is World War III trying to get them to leave each other alone. The phrase "I just want you" comes out of John's mouth every time I leave him alone (Tim has informed me it happens at his house too). They are kicking on the doors, jumping from bed to bed, and messing with each other. At this point, I am seriously considering separate bedrooms immediately!

Although that rant makes it sound like things are not so great...there are many amazing things happening at our house with my people as well.
John and Megan are both officially potty trained - NO pull-ups....dry over nights too!
The paci fairy came to mommy and daddy's houses and took the paci's away. We survived the 4 days of screaming and no longer use pacifiers!
They kids are talking a mile a minute, they are both active and happy. Megan loves reading and John is all boy!
They just started a 6 week ice skating class. Tim took them this week and I am excited to tag along and watch next week. I will get some pictures.

I will post some pictures before we head on our trip to Tennessee/Georgia the first week of August. I am looking forward to spending time with family for an entire week. I hope that they are ready to have my two little people infiltrate their space!

Easter and March for Babies 2011 at OneTrueMedia.com

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My Amazing Miracles at OneTrueMedia.com

Please join us as we walk with the March of Dimes on May 1st at Hudson Mills Metro Park. If you can't join us on the walk, please consider making a donation by going to our personal webpage. http://www.marchforbabies.org/melissanickel

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Update

In two months John and Megan will be 3 and I am wondering where the time went.

About a month ago John started showing some excitement about using the big boy potty. For the past two weeks I have worked with him daily to get him to use the potty. We are now on day two of big boy underpants (after about 2 weeks of pull-ups) and we have had only one accident per day. I am so proud of him! Megan isn't really interested in potty training. She knows how to use the potty, will use it if I make her, but doesn't really want anything to do with it. I am hoping that with John in underwear she will want to try harder.

Both kids went to the allergy and immunology doc today for their yearly check-up. Megan continues to be my little peanut. She weighed in at 23 lbs even. Wearing clothing! John is up to 27 pounds. He is also 2 1/2 inches taller than his sister. Both kids take singulair and zyrtec daily to help with their allergies and asthma. We are going to try to take them off their singulair in two months and see how they do. Because of Megan's shoulder (hysteocytoma...sp) she will need to continue to take the zyrtec and might have to take an antihistamine for the rest of her life. Boo to that, but it is better than lesions all over her body.

The kids are thriving at daycare. It amazes me how much they do each day. I am so happy that we made the decision to put the kids at Real Life Nursery and Farm. They have adorable friends, amazing teachers, and a great learning opportunity!

Many of you know this, but on February 14th my mother passed peacefully in her sleep.

It was definitely a shock and I am still not fully processing what happened. I am still expecting her to call me to talk. I will post more about this later, but I am just not ready now.

Holiday Season 2010 at OneTrueMedia.com

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Amazing Life Changes!

I have tried to write this post at least half a dozen times, but I haven't known where to start. I write something and then erase it because it just doesn't sound right. Or, I log in to get started and then something will distract me. I have decided that I need to just write from the heart and leave it at that.

A year ago in December, Tim and I made the decision to separate. He moved out and the kids and I began a new life. A life that I never thought I would have, but the one that had been handed to me.

The first few months were difficult as I struggled trying to be a single mom, find a job, and relearn what it was like to take care of things on my own. Tim continued to be part of the kids lives (as he still is), but I had very little down time to mourn the loss of what I assumed my future would be.

I began taking the kids to an at home daycare one day a week as well as having someone come to the house half a day a week. This gave me time to go to the grocery store, see a therapist, and really take a little time for me. These women who cared for my kids gave me the opportunity to heal and be a better mom. I will never forget what they did for me.

In January of last year, the kids started spending overnights with Tim. This was a difficult transition for me as they had never slept anywhere without me. I was so proud that I was able to make it around the corner from Tim's place before I had to pull over and break down. The kids had a difficult time transition at first as well. They were used to having mommy tuck them in and be there in the morning. The three of us made it through the first few overnights and things started getting easier.

I was able to realize what it is that I wanted and needed out of life, which made the decision to file for divorce last February an easier one. Once the decision was made and the paperwork was started I realized that I really needed to get a job.

I applied several places and actually had interviews in each district I applied for. I was surprised by that as I have been out of the game for a few years. I received an offer to teach the 5th - 8th Grades - Accelerated Learning Program at South Arbor Charter Academy and I accepted.

Having a job made me feel more secure in the fact that I would be able to take care of myself and my children. It really let me know that I could do this on my own.

My divorce was final last October and Tim and I have been getting the last of our things taken care of. We realized that John and Megan deserved to have the opportunity to be with each of us as often as possible. Because of this, we decided to share custody. They spend Monday, Wednesday, and every other weekend with Tim and are with me the rest of the time. I miss them terribly when they are gone, but realize that I am a better mom because I have the time to take care of myself. I am now the proud homeowner of the home that I have lived in for the past 10 years. The kids have been transitioned into a full time nursery school setting (more about that later) and I am have transitioned to being a working mother.

I am happy to report that I am in love with my life right now. I have two of the most amazing children in the world. If not for them, I would not be the strong woman that I am today. At the beginning I survived because I knew that I had to take care of them. Now I thrive because I am privileged to be their mother. I have a terrific job that allows me to work with students who are excited about their learning and who teach me something new everyday. I have strengthened the friendships that are important to me and separated myself from those that were negative influences in my life. I am blessed to have people in my life who support me and honor me for the person that I am.

I am proud of the way that I have handled myself during this time in my life. I have tried to take the high road when things got difficult, ask myself what would be best for John and Megan when I wanted to simply explode from anger and frustration, and grow as a person from each new obstacle that I had to face.

I have learned that it is important to take care of yourself and never lose sight of what is essential to your happiness. If you don't know what makes you happy then you can not be happy. One of the hardest things about this entire situation was realizing that I had lost sight of who I was as a person. I didn't know what I needed or what my value was. I am slowly getting to know myself again and am liking who I am becoming.

John and Megan have learned flexibility and loss at an early age and I hope that they are stronger for that, despite of what the divorce has done to them. I can only hope that they know that they are loved by each of us. We fought like hell to have them and they continue to be my greatest accomplishment.